Sunday, February 10, 2008

Evil Sorcerers

While some join the fight in the UHC, others choose to create havoc within the UH. They fall into the orders of the dark arts. They too use to be human, but they gave away their heart and soul in exchange for financial gain.

One is the dark sorcerer, known as Malattorney. With their deception and mind tricks, they can disable many of those that fight in the UHC. The UH has counter the attacks with the white magic of the Defattorney. They are well versed in the games of the heartless Malattorney and can counter their deceptive moves. Both receiving training at the Schola fallaciosus verbalis, where they learn the art of twisting words and the use of the slippery tongue.

Another predator of the UH is the IAINTPAYIN (or IAP). It is believed that these vicious beasts were never human. They may be actually artificial intelligence. They have never actually been seen, but have been heard through phone lines. They directly attack the funding source for the MHs. This has disabled many of the MH sects. It has yet to be countered very well. There have been some attempts made by the humans that support the MHs. The effects have yet to be seen.

The external influences on the UHC are something never taught in the SM and can cause significant changes in the abilities of the different MH sects.

In the second phase of teaching occurs over the next 2 years, each of the students are given an opportunity to spend time in all of the main sects, as well as, some of the subsects. During this time, they are put through a number of physical and mental challenges. They also learn about the hierarchy in the SM. Understanding the different ranks is vital in the survival of the young MHs.

There are a number of physical challenges. There are some more specific to the different sect's teachings. One such physical challenge is called SCUT. SCUT is known as a number of seemingly meaningless tasks that the MHs require the young MH's to do. The student is assessed based on their eagerness to perform the task, how quickly it is done, and the quality of the performance. Another physical challenge is known as TOLERATING BORING CONVERSATION (TBC). This is a extremely difficult task. You must look interested and occasionally nod as if interested in the conversation. You can receive bonus points for interjecting you own thoughts into the monotonous conversation, when appropriate. Points are lost when you yawn or fall asleep. A endurance challenge specific to the Surgeons is the RETRACTOR HOLD (RH). This has led to the down fall of many of the students interested in the Surgeon sect and dooming some to the dark arts of Radiologia. For the retractor hold you must hold a retractor in an area you can not see and provide adequate exposure. You must toe-in ever so slightly and move the retractor to the appropriate spot without actually being able to see what is being done. A endurance challenge specific to the Physicians is PERMAROUNDS (PR). For this task, you must be able to preround on your patients and then tolerate rounding for hours and hours on the entire team's patients. For this, it is required you have comfortable shoes, a large bladder, and a large caffeinated beverage. These make up the basics for the physical tasks.

The mental challenges can be somewhat more taxing than the physical challenges. These wear the MHs down over time. It effects their sense of self, over all well being, and standing with their peers. The most common of these techniques is called PIMPING. Created in Long Beach, California by the grand master Snoop Dogg. In his classic dissertation, Trust Me, he eloquently stated "Pimpin' aint easy." It is not easy, but when done well by a master, it can decimate a student. The only protection against a Master Pimp is to read all the BOLD FACE print on the topic to be tested. You will never win against a Master Pimp, but you can hold you ground and save face. A mental task specific to the Surgeons is the TOO LONG TOO SHORT SUTURE CUT (TLTSSC). The Physicians particularly like the LONG ADMIT NOTE and the always popular LONG WINDED SIGNOUT (LWS). These are just the basics of the mental challenges.

At the end of each rotation, students are given scores. At the end of the third year they are given an average score. Each score is from 0 to 10, with 0 being the lowest and 10 being the max

  • Strength - this initial score is determined by how the student performs on the RH task, the distance the student can toss the single volume Harrison's text book, and their Bench Press.
  • Dexterity - this initial score is determined on the TLTSSC, their ability to steal important studies and hide them from the other sects.
  • Stamina - this is determined by the ability to tolerate PR, RH, and TBC.
  • Intelligence - initial scores are given during the STEPONE TRIALS (S1T). The score can be improved upon during the STEPTWO TRIALS (S2T). Pluses and minuses are given based on the students ability to tolerate PIMPING.
  • Wisdom - this is a score that all of the MH's start out with a zero, unless they have had previous work experience. Working in the healthcare field greatly improves this number.
  • Charisma - this is an innate characteristic and can not be improved upon during their education.
After the 3rd year in the SC, the students must choose a path, a Race. Once chosen, they must enter what is known as the MACCHE. This is a battle royale of sorts. Each of the races review each applicant. The applicants submit their vital statistics.

Training at the SC occurs over the four years. The first phase of teaching is done over 2 years. It is known as Route Memorization (RM). During these years, humans receive training the the basic skills sets important to both the Physicians and Surgeons. This is an education on the concepts but not the techniques.

During the first year, humans learn from the old testament textbooks. They learn the teachings from the original publications of the Physicians and Surgeons. These are the basis from which all of the sects evolved. Most of the books are torn and tattered from many years of use. Because of the increase in the usage of these textbooks, the information has been translated into easily used computer based texts known as Pubmedicus. Using these alternate text books, students begin their transformation.

The students are educated in a number of fields which help them to develop skills. They learn Anatomie from the teachings of Galen and Vesalius. Courses like Biochemica challenge the even brightest students with its Cycle of the Kreb. Other teachings, such as Ontogeny, challenge with the volume of complex information. Microscopic eyes are developed in the training for H&E. The study of Pasteurism gives them knowledge of the microscopic organisms of infection. A course in Cytoplasmica is the start of the physical transformation into medical humanoid. In this course, the students cells are directly effected and a transformation is forced. This begins the transformation from basic human structure to MH.

During the second year, the previous year skills are brought together. They are taught the inner working between the different skill sets. The skills from the different sects are taught. Here they begin the formal transformation. Students begin to lose the outward signs of a human being and begin to have a medical humanoid appearance. Exposure to the August Wilhelm von Hofmann Solution has hardens their faces. The dark circles of sleep deprivation begin to arrive. Their vision is burred by exposure florescent lights and their skin pales due to the lack of sun. As time passes, the characteristics become more permanent. By the end of the year, they forever lose the ability to pass as a human being.

At the end of the second year, their abilities are then challenged with a series of trials, known as the Stepone Trials (S1T). These series of trials give the students their initial intelligence rating and makes them more or less desirable for the different sects of MH teachings. After the ST, they may to visit their families for one final time before the final transformation.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Schola Medica

The decision is made somewhere between birth and secondary education. Some made the decisions based on good experiences they have had in the UH and others based on family history. They have the opportunity stay in the human race but chose to go to their calling. They give up their rights to a life with some sense of normality and go into a world that will completely absorb them. For some, their spirit is destroyed by the transformation; and others by the war itself. For those who survive, they are given the hardened white coat exterior, the instruments of their chosen sect, and the emotionless face. Most are supported by humans outside of the war. The human left in them is refueled with the emotions of their loved ones to return to battle the next day. Their journey begins with what is known as the Schola Medica (SM).

In the Schola Medica, the humans are given the bland short white robes used for showing their lowly rank. This is were it begins. They receive the basic training in what they will need for battle. They gather tools that are used in the battles and learn each tool's positives and negatives. Some of the MH's use specific tools as a part of their fighting styles. One of these instruments is call the Litthman (a primary weapon of the Physicians). Another is knowns as the cultrate (a primary weapon of the Surgeons). The SM provides them the origins of the different fighting styles. They develop their fighting styles over the four years in the SM.

In the SM, there are 2 separate yet equal teachings. One is known as Allopathia. This has been considered for many years to be the dominant creator of the MHs. The second is known Osteopathia. Once considered outcasts, Osteopathics have gained prominence over the last 2 decades. Today, the differences between the 2 can only be distinguished by a the Osteopathics slight tinny twang in their speech. Regardless of the path training, the transformation to MH occurs over a period of 4 years.

Over 4 years, humans are gradually transformed into Medical Humanoids through a number of trials and tasks. It is during this time they are given their initial ratings. They receive scores in Strength, Dexterity, Stamina, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. The scores received during this time make them more or less attractive to the different sects of the MH race.


In the hospital galaxy, there has been a war that has been fought for many centuries. All of those involved began as human, but chose to under go the transformation to Medical Humanoid (MH). They have given up their rights from the human race, such as normal working hours and sleep schedules, to join in the centuries old war in University Hospitals (UH) known as the University Hospital Crusades (UHC).

In the UH, they once lived in harmony. They called themselves Physicians. All practicing from the books of Hippocrates and Asclepius. Treating the ill humans with a combination of treatments and beliefs developed over the ages and past down generations. These beliefs went unquestioned.

Outside of the UH and behind storefronts with candy cane poles, there was another philosophy of treating the ill. The Physicians called them barbarians; they called themselves Surgeons. They believed in treating by the blade.

It was when these 2 beliefs collided in the UH that the Crusades began. These are their stories.


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