Sunday, February 10, 2008

In the second phase of teaching occurs over the next 2 years, each of the students are given an opportunity to spend time in all of the main sects, as well as, some of the subsects. During this time, they are put through a number of physical and mental challenges. They also learn about the hierarchy in the SM. Understanding the different ranks is vital in the survival of the young MHs.

There are a number of physical challenges. There are some more specific to the different sect's teachings. One such physical challenge is called SCUT. SCUT is known as a number of seemingly meaningless tasks that the MHs require the young MH's to do. The student is assessed based on their eagerness to perform the task, how quickly it is done, and the quality of the performance. Another physical challenge is known as TOLERATING BORING CONVERSATION (TBC). This is a extremely difficult task. You must look interested and occasionally nod as if interested in the conversation. You can receive bonus points for interjecting you own thoughts into the monotonous conversation, when appropriate. Points are lost when you yawn or fall asleep. A endurance challenge specific to the Surgeons is the RETRACTOR HOLD (RH). This has led to the down fall of many of the students interested in the Surgeon sect and dooming some to the dark arts of Radiologia. For the retractor hold you must hold a retractor in an area you can not see and provide adequate exposure. You must toe-in ever so slightly and move the retractor to the appropriate spot without actually being able to see what is being done. A endurance challenge specific to the Physicians is PERMAROUNDS (PR). For this task, you must be able to preround on your patients and then tolerate rounding for hours and hours on the entire team's patients. For this, it is required you have comfortable shoes, a large bladder, and a large caffeinated beverage. These make up the basics for the physical tasks.

The mental challenges can be somewhat more taxing than the physical challenges. These wear the MHs down over time. It effects their sense of self, over all well being, and standing with their peers. The most common of these techniques is called PIMPING. Created in Long Beach, California by the grand master Snoop Dogg. In his classic dissertation, Trust Me, he eloquently stated "Pimpin' aint easy." It is not easy, but when done well by a master, it can decimate a student. The only protection against a Master Pimp is to read all the BOLD FACE print on the topic to be tested. You will never win against a Master Pimp, but you can hold you ground and save face. A mental task specific to the Surgeons is the TOO LONG TOO SHORT SUTURE CUT (TLTSSC). The Physicians particularly like the LONG ADMIT NOTE and the always popular LONG WINDED SIGNOUT (LWS). These are just the basics of the mental challenges.

At the end of each rotation, students are given scores. At the end of the third year they are given an average score. Each score is from 0 to 10, with 0 being the lowest and 10 being the max

  • Strength - this initial score is determined by how the student performs on the RH task, the distance the student can toss the single volume Harrison's text book, and their Bench Press.
  • Dexterity - this initial score is determined on the TLTSSC, their ability to steal important studies and hide them from the other sects.
  • Stamina - this is determined by the ability to tolerate PR, RH, and TBC.
  • Intelligence - initial scores are given during the STEPONE TRIALS (S1T). The score can be improved upon during the STEPTWO TRIALS (S2T). Pluses and minuses are given based on the students ability to tolerate PIMPING.
  • Wisdom - this is a score that all of the MH's start out with a zero, unless they have had previous work experience. Working in the healthcare field greatly improves this number.
  • Charisma - this is an innate characteristic and can not be improved upon during their education.
After the 3rd year in the SC, the students must choose a path, a Race. Once chosen, they must enter what is known as the MACCHE. This is a battle royale of sorts. Each of the races review each applicant. The applicants submit their vital statistics.



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